I don’t want to learn in a classroom anymore. I want to travel and talk to people and learn that way. I want to learn as I go, gathering knowledge and not being rigorously tested on it. I don’t want to lose passion in the things I like because of the worry of exams. I want to fuelled by snippets of knowledge I gain from people and be inquisitive. School has stolen my passion for the things I’m interested in and I hate it for that.
If someone ever tells you a certain song is important to them you should turn it up and lay on your bed and close your eyes and really listen to it even if its 10 minutes long because at the end you will know that person much better I think
My love for this post is unbelievable.
Life is unfair. You put someone first who puts you second. You study your ass off for a final only to get a C. You give 110% to someone in a relationship who only gives 40%. You’re there for a best friend at 3:00am and the next day they don’t pick up their phone. It seems like you’re giving everyone everything and they’re just walking away with it.
Antidepressants don’t really make me happy. They give me this fake fasade of happiness. They trick my brain into thinking its happy. I can tell though its not the same actually feeling happy vs. antidepressents. These things kinda numb me out and i don’t like it. I’d rather be drowned in my depression something i didn’t think i would say.
It’s weird how much i find comfort in depression. I haven’t had much extreme depression this past week and right now it’s like a part of me wants to submerge myself in it. I feel a slight taste of it but not all of it and it makes me kind of miss it. It makes me angry a little bit because a part of me wants to feel it but i can’t. After 3 months of these antidepressants maybe there finally starting to work. And its really fucking sick but i kind of miss the depression because i feel this fasade of “pleasantness” like its not real and a part of me can tell.